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The Beauty of Self-Care

 Of all the things 2020 taught me, perhaps one of the most valuable was the value of self-care.

We live in a fast paced culture; and while we are very self centered in general as a culture, we often neglect self-care.

First, let's define self care. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines self-care simply as "care for oneself."

Seems simple, right? I mean we all have similar needs --- food, sleep, drinking water, basic hygiene.

But yet, sometimes in the business of life, the quality of even those things get neglected. We run a thousand miles an hour and do a hundred things and then wonder why we're burnt out. 

Life is hard. That's a reality. But we don't always have to burn our candles at both ends. We are no good to a parched world, pouring from an empty cup.

It might mean taking a walk, taking time to do my hair, making a nice meal that I like, or trying something new. On a deeper level, it might mean saying "No," creating boundaries, verbalizing your feelings instead of dismissing them or getting a therapist.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am a firm believer and advocate for loving Jesus and still having a therapist. Jesus meets our needs, but sometimes the help we need comes in human form. If God can use me to meet other's needs, why can't He use a professional to help me meet my own needs?

I have a therapist and it is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I was the one who said, "I don't want to pay someone to just listen to me." Well, I don't do that. I pay someone to give me skills to better process life and help me work on areas where emotional health can be improved. I highly recommend a therapist.

Beyond that though, doing hard things is self care. Choosing to hear someone is self care. Growth cannot happen in comfort. So, while the discomfort isn't ideal, the outcome is worthwhile. Self care sometimes looks like doing a load of laundry when I hate laundry or saying "No" when I could do more but know it will cost me long term.

We do not have control over our circumstances all the time, but we do have control of how we choose to learn and process. I've made a lot of a lot of mistakes in my short life, but I've processed many of them and am not that same person anymore. I've grown. That's self care.

We have to stop blaming everyone and everything for our reactions and outlook on life. My attitude is my choice. My outlook is my choice. I can acknowledge and experience real pain and heartache in life. I can process and feel. But I can also move on too. Because living in a moment or season is not what promotes growth ya'll! 

Self care can sometimes be the basics of eating something other than junk food and choosing to take a "You" day. But sometimes the best self care is in self awareness and growth.

Not everyone is going to understand that. Growth is not for everyone. But it's something I choose. I choose to grow as a way to give my own self help.

Especially as a Christian, I want what's in me to be poured out of me. So, I want love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to be fruits I bear (Galatians 5:22-23). But those things don't just happen. They take growth, change, and maturity. They take self evaluation, self care, and a lot of pressing into Jesus.

Self-care is worth it and I'm worth it. 

So are you. 



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